Sunday, January 1, 2017

Old Greenwich

     Long Island Sound's socked in. Black jetty stones tumble into a short beach. Two days left in 2016.
24 hours of rain. The constant kind without a breath I got used to in college, that I realized New Englanders were used to all their lives, that I'd forgotten about, living on the West Coast. The pacific coast where you wake up 270 days in the year to nothing but blue skies. Drowning and not waving.
  I'm 20 feet from the water. Across 15 more miles of it should be New York State, but all you can see are layers of grey and blue, washes in and across the water, above even the few houses visible on the land's narrow points. The soft shore's tree line a brushy charcoal under all the lovely hues of slate.
  I miss these colors in California. Out there they don't exist. Even a Golden Gate storm has an undertone of glitter. Fog in San Fran is primed with yellow.
  I'm frickin cold. Gets in your skin here. The core feels it and shies away, even a mile from I-95. Jogging distance to the closest mansion. One of my oldest friends and I standing here, and not speaking too much.
   I'd shelved my memories of this part of the States. These dreamy secure towns I used to pass back and forth between New York and Providence. My college pilgrimages for love and knowledge. On the trains, I'd wonder who lived behind those warm windows clicking by, how could so many people be that wealthy, that lucky? I let it go. Or I did nothing about it, so I let them alone, let them be, get on with their immaterial lives, have kids, a generation of still breeding thoughts, and so on...... but here I was again on a spit of parkland just south of Stamford Connecticut, feeling it.
  At the toe of a town settled in the middle of the Seventeenth century. Pequots giving way to Yankees and Sailors and farmers, fighting back but losing ultimately, burned and starved, erased. And then after the settlers and thieves, came the bankers and the billionaires, new thieves, burning and starving the nation and building their astounding homes along the shore.
  Fitzgerald lived briefly on the other side of the Sound. I've always wondered did he dream up Daisy's green light gazing a few hundred yards from one spit of Long Island to another or did he look across the Sound toward what he knew were the new money manses of Connecticut. Fairfield, Cos Cob, Greenwich. Green light. Greenwich.
  Gatsby dreaming across a greater expanse makes more sense to me. His inspiration growing with the distance. The challenge of the crossing. But then when F. Scott wrote the novel he realized, practically, to make the story work Daisy needed to be near by and Gatsby's madness buying literally the mansion next door became all the stronger. Art, always served by compression and release. But still I think, at the close of the book, when he speaks of the continent seen for the first time by Dutch sailors, when the inessential houses melt away, he's talking about, he's remembering, Connecticut, not New York. The distant shore he saw that gave him that smoky eternal image was here. Right beneath my feet.
  You know those stories about War veterans: the glass or the metal, the fragments of shells or bullets or deflected debris or the obliterated bones of the friend standing next to them, these splinters emerging from their skin decades later? No matter how you think you've put it to bed, overused it, gone to the nostalgic well once too often, some stuff always comes back up. You can bury your shit, you can think it's done, it's got no more half life, but once in awhile you'll be wrong, on the way home you'll be driving along a tight little suburban street lined with faux colonials and you'll pass Random Rd, "ha check that out man, a street called Random Rd" and before you can laugh and point it out, before you can say a word to your friend behind the wheel you'll remember, oh that's where she lived. Her dad's house was down that road. Literally, Random Road.
  And who was she? A girl with a Goddess' name you met freshman year but no one in your life's meander that mattered all that much much as you weren't much to hers. But there it is. The real thing. The actual road. Not even 200 yards long, bisecting an overbuilt, commuter heavy peninsula in Fairfield County Connecticut, where you spent a hazily recalled few days in 1986 with a red haired beauty and her sharp and winsome parents. Whose father built a bank in Pittsburgh you pass every day you're home. Who made love to you on a jetty in a summer storm, as she faced the water and you the shore. The breadth of the memory broader than the place itself.
   You say nothing to your buddy, who's driving back to his son, who's waiting with his parents in their summer home 20 miles up the coast, because you two have been talking about his brutal divorce and how tight the lane is with all the SUVs going by, and whether Sandy when she hit leveled this or that McMansion but what you're thinking is, fuck, memory lives in the land, its power is the land itself and you need to go there, to the place where you were when it happened even if you weren't born when it did, if you want to feel it. If you want it back. And even when you don't. It will come. And maybe it should. Who are we to try and choose.

14 comments:

  1. David, you are a wonderful,descriptive and gifted writer. I love reading what you write. You write what is in your heart. Don't ever stop writing.

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    1. ALL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS
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  3. The Word Man. That is you. Love it.

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  4. The Word Man. That is you. Love it.

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  5. Happy New Year's David. Your a good writer, enjoyed reading this.

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  7. It's sometimes hard not to get stuck in the memories and remember to live.

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  9. I’m Kelvin Power, I contracted HIV in 2009, I was told by my doctor that there’s no possible cure for HIV. I started taking my ARV’s, My CD4 was 77 and viral load was 112,450. I saw a website of Dr. Oraede, also I saw a lot of testimonials about him on how he uses herbal medicine to cure HIV. I contacted him and told him my problems, He sent me the herbal medicine and I took it for 7 days after then I went for check-up and I was cured. The medicine has NO SIDE EFFECT, there’s no special diet when taking the medicine. You can reach him on dr.oraedespellhome@hotmail.com, dr.oraedespellhome1@gmail.com or call/Whatsapp +2348158856438.

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  10. I am a 40-year-old. My Hepatitis B (HBV) disease appeared at the age of 34, with no hope of a cure from the hospital i looked further for an alternative treatments, a friend of mine told me about Health Herbal Clinic in Nigeria who sell herbal treatments for diseases including Hepatitis B disease, I contacted the herbal clinic via their website and purchased the HBV herbal remedy. I received the herbal remedy through DHL couriers within 8 days and i immediately commenced usage as prescribed, i used the herbal remedy for about a month and 1 week, my condition has greatly improved, all my symptoms including Abdominal pain, Nausea and vomiting, Loss of appetite, I am HBV free! contact Health Herbal Clinic via their email draribaspelltemple@gmail.com or visit https://m.facebook.com/greatdrariba.. PLS HBV is not a death sentence, there is a cure!
    Whatsapp: +2348140439497

    ReplyDelete
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  12. My life is beautiful because of you Mein Helfer.Lord jesus into my life as a candlelight in the dark. You showed me the meaning of faith with your words. I know even when i cried all day thinking how to get well you weren’t sleeping you were dear for me.I contacted Dr Itua herbal center lived in west Africa. A friend of mine here in Hamburg she’s from Africa too,She told me about Africa herbs but was nervous about it.I’m really scared when it come to African because i heard allot of fiend things about them due to my christianity I pray to god for direction,I takeathe bold step and contact him on email then move to whatsapp he ask if I can come over for the treatment or want a delivery,I said i want to meet him I buy 2ways ticket down to Africa to meet Dr Itua,I went there and i was speechless Of people I saw there.Patent,Sick people.Dr Itua is a god sent to the world,I told my Pastor about what am into,Pastor Bill Scheer We have a wonderfully Real Battle With Spirit And Flesh.worship that same night,He pray for me and ask me to lead,I spent 2weeks and 2days in Africa in Dr Itua Herbal Home,After the treatment He ask me to meet his nurse for hiv test when i did it was negative,I quitely ask my friend to take me to other nearby hospital when i got there it’s was negative.I was overwhelm with the result,But happy inside me.We went to Dr Itua,I thank him but I explain to him I don’t have enough to show my aprecaition he understand my situation but promise him to testify the good work of his.I thank god for my dear friend,Emma I know she might be reading this right now,I want to say thank you.And a big thanks to Dr Itua Herbal Center.He Gave me his calendar which I place on my wall in my house.Dr Itua Can As Well Cure The Following Desease…Cancer,Hiv,Herpes, Hepatitis B,Liver Inflammatory,Diabetis,You can contact him on email or whatsapp,@..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com,phone number..+2348149277967..He’s nice Doc,Talk to him nicely.I’m sure he will listen to you as well.

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